Pencils & Pain
by Kaslyna
Summary: A story written by me and Cooper-Gwen. A 'what-if' scenario. No spoilers, really, and don't worry when this is set. Mulder's gone too far this time with the pencils...! Scully, Skinner, Mulder, and Krychek all in one! Please read and review! :D


**A/N: A project written by myself and Cooper-Gwen. :D First me, then her, then me, then her. You get the idea. XD**

**Disclaimer: The X-Files belongs to Chris Carter and 1013 Productions and Fox. Cooper-Gwen and I own zilch. Oh, we do own the idea and the plot though. :D**

* * *

"SCULLY!"

"...What...?"

"SCULLY THE SKY IS FALLING!"

She sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Mulder..."

"SCULLY REALLY!"

"Don't cry wolf, Mulder."

"SCULLY I'M NOT! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!"

Deciding to humor him, sure she will regret it later, Scully looks toward the ceiling. Her cerulean eyes widen in a mix of shock, horror, and utter amusement. Zigzagging their way through Mulder's pencil collection are a series of cracks. A few pieces of plaster dust sprinkle out like rain. Scully coughs.

"Mulder. What. The. Hell. Did. You. Do?" she demands, shrieking as another bit of the ceiling falls.

Mulder stares innocently, almost blankly, at Scully. Then he grins and replies, "Pencils. Ceiling. Throw. Bored."

"Way to go," she grumbles.

Mulder just smiles innocently. The ceiling creaks, and a few more bits of the ceiling fall out, one nearly hitting Scully in the head. She jumps away just in time, sending Mulder a glare. If looks could kill, he'd be six feet under and pushing up daises.

Another creak, much louder and more ominous then the first, makes them both jump, and they share a look, before hurling themselves to the door as the entire ceiling starts to cave in.

''Oh, shi-'' Mulder's curse is interrupted by a few screams from the floor above them, as what looks like a filing cabinet falls through, crashing onto Mulder's desk. Scully stares wide eyed at the office, which is clouded with dust from the plaster.

''MULDER! SCULLY!''

The pair winces as AD Skinner's voice booms through the hall, and he comes into view, very red faced, and furious.

''Sir, let me explain-''

''You aren't explaining anything, Mulder. The. Entire. Roof. Just. Caved. In.'' Skinner glares at Mulder, who can think of nothing better to do, so he shrugs, and tries to hide a smirk, but fails. Scully finds herself doing the same, although she hides her smile, and represses the urge to burst into laughter.

''Clean this up.'' Skinner sighs, and looks into the office, shudders, and gives Mulder and Scully one last threatening glare, before stomping away. As soon as he's out of sight, Mulder and Scully look at each other, and burst out laughing.

They laugh even harder when they hear the yells of ''Assholes!'' and ''What the hell is wrong with you people?" coming through the huge hole in the ceiling.

Scully leaves for a moment to get some boxes to sweep the remains of their office into. When she returns, there is a jumbled pile of desks, secretaries, coffee, and on top of the pile is Krychek. She drops what she is holding and tries not to laugh. Instead she focuses on the fact that Mulder is missing.

"Okay. What the hell...? I was only gone two minutes!" she groans, "And Krychek... I'm not even gonna ask how you got here."

"Scully," her head whips around to where the TV and a desk, with three moaning secretaries, lies. Then she sees Mulder's arm and tugs him out. The secretaries scramble away.

"Okay. Mulder. What the fuck did you do now?"

Mulder brushed himself off, and shrugged, making a noncommittal noise.

''One minute everything was fine, and then a desk fell through.''

Scully raises an eyebrow.

''And the other three desks? How the hell did Krychek get there, Mulder?''

Krychek groaned, making both Mulder and Scully look over to where he was laying in a crumpled heap on the desks. He appeared to be attempting to roll himself over so he could actually sit up, but the unconscious body of yet another secretary that was on top of him was making the task difficult. Had it been anyone but Krychek, Scully would have gone into doctor mode, checking for any broken or fractured bones. But watching Krychek struggle was just too much fun.

''Okay, Mulder. You help Krychek get up, and get him and the secretary out of here. I will go and check the level of damage up there.''

Mulder looked like he was about to whine, but at the look Scully gave him, he grudgingly went to help Krychek.

Scully found Skinner standing beside the now-larger hole.

"Krychek fired his gun at a desk. It hit another desk, and bam! Armageddon."

"Oh," she nodded, "Well, sir. I'll clean this up."

"Thanks," he grimaces, clapping an appreciative hand on her shoulder as he leaves.

Scully sighs and walks to the hole. She smiles just a little at the sight of Mulder trying to pull Krychek out. Then there was a loud creak.

The floor where Scully was standing, right above Mulder and Krychek, began to cave in.

She shrieked, trying to scurry away, but it was too late. All she could do was grab onto the fallen water cooler and pray for the best.

When Scully opens her eyes, the first thing she sees is that she is surrounded in darkness, save for the gaping hole in the floor (roof?) above her. She blinks, and then realizes she is soaking wet. Damn water cooler. She stands, wobbles, and looks around. Somehow, it doesn't shock her that there's a basement even more depressing then the X-Files office in the building.

She formulates a plan in her head:

1: Call for help.

2: Look for possibly exits:

3: Once out, kick Mulder's ass for throwing the damn pencils in the first place.

She nods, satisfied.

''Mulder! MULDER!'' She yells towards the hole. Mulder's head appears above her.

''Scully! They're getting a ladder now. Apparently, no one knew this existed. And here I was, thinking our basement sucked.'' He grins, and disappears for a moment. His head reappears above briefly.

''Watch out.'' The ladder is lowered down by Mulder, Skinner, and Krychek, who seems determined to drop the ladder as fast as possible, and to get the hell away from Mulder.

As soon as Scully gets into their office she glares at Mulder again. Krychek shifts uncomfortably.

"Can I, uh... go?" he asks. As if it isn't awkward enough.

Skinner shrugs and Krychek bolts out at warp speed.

"What the hell, man?" Mulder asks, incredulous.

"We have more important things to worry about than that rat," Skinner nods, "Like the two giant holes."

"I don't weigh THAT much!" Scully moaned. Mulder giggled and she took a piece of plaster and chucked it at his head. He yelped and jumped out of the way.

Right into the gaping hole.

And so it began _again_.


End file.
